Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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