Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
