I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
