The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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