Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
