Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
