masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
