I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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