The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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