I am in a vortex of obligation.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize