Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
