it hurts more in the daytime
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
