Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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