our cab driver is having phone sex.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
