I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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