You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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