shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
