Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
