best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
