Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just googled if crying burns calories
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
