We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
