It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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