Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
