we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
