first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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