dude i'm inner monologue high
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
