and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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