Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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