was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
