It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
