I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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