1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
