guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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