why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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