Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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