Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
