we have pet lesbian snakes
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
