So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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