Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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