He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
