It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
