A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
