you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
