dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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