I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
