have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
