How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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