I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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