Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
