im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
