Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

your address is 607B right?

(785): View more from Kansas

yeah why?

(913): View more from Kansas

i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it

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(512): View more from Texas

We need to rekindle our bromance

Fav 48 9046 1747
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(314): View more from Missouri

I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...

Fav 27 1175 4370
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.

Fav 15 3393 6133
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(206): View more from Washington

Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.

Fav 7 4916 1390
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(214): View more from Texas

I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.

Fav 24 2263 5384
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(818): View more from California

Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.

Fav 37 6364 1796
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(304): View more from West Virginia

It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."

Fav 1 191 74
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!

Fav 0 18 33
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