If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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