Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
the raccoons are back...
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