Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
