it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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