For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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