I CAN MOONWALK!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
